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Joking around

  • Started by DreymaR
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  • From: Viken, Norway
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So, if you have a typing/keyboard related joke, type it in. Let's share some silly summer joy!

Today this came to me:
– Is capital punishment acceptable for misuse of the CapsLock key?
– In some cases.

:-p

Last edited by DreymaR (22-Jun-2017 14:03:28)

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xkcd have an occasional keyboard-related one

https://xkcd.com/1284/

Also sums up trying to type on touch screens!

Using Colemak-DH with Seniply.

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improved_keyboard.png

That's some swift key judgment there! :-)

Last edited by DreymaR (22-Jun-2017 13:57:33)

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Did you hear about the new keyboard-themed pub?

It's called The Space Bar.

Just made that up, you're welcome.

Last edited by jonhines (20-Jul-2016 18:04:53)
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Haha, Jon. I had already heard it in a variant: "Where do astronauts hang out?"

Space+Bar.jpg


If there really were a keyboard-themed pub called The Space Bar, I'd love to hang out there. Unless it were all QWERTY and stuff...

Pickup lines in that bar might get weird: "Hey miss, would you like to see my mods?" :-þ

Also, there's this oldie from another post:

Space-FinalFrontier.png?dl=1

Last edited by DreymaR (22-Jun-2017 14:30:13)

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There's these old ones, to reCap a little: :-)
The Push My Buttons Gurl (since it is said that having a Topre board is like "typing on a cloud of boobs"...)
Dopplermak (weird DreymaR visual jokes that not everyone will understand)
Board Wars (not a joke per se, but if you still think it's funny then the typing force is with you)

Nobody seemed to get the first time that this one is the Doppler Effect (you know – red shift and blue shift? ... well, maybe you don't...)!

DopplerColemak.png?dl=1

That time, I felt a bit like Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory. ;-)

But, as they say:

ShiftHappens.png?dl=1

Last edited by DreymaR (22-Jun-2017 14:06:28)

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Okay, here's a new contribution for all of you who escaped the control of habit:

Escape-Ctrl_QWE-2-Cmk.png

The original was a t-shirt design from QWERTEE (that cool webshop with the evil name). :-)

Last edited by DreymaR (08-Jul-2021 13:58:04)

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Board Wars revisited, just because I love it so much! <3

BoardWarsCrawl.jpg

Last edited by DreymaR (08-Jul-2021 11:56:58)

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Can someone please tell me where the any key is, I'm told to press it, but I can't find it.

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I'm so hopeless. There is no escape and I've completely lost control. I can't get a pause or break anymore. There is no end in sight. A shift at this point is completely out of the question. I've even lost my home.

... Guess it's time for a new keyboard.

Last edited by azuvix (30-Apr-2018 02:40:04)
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d2nw393dt9v01.png

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Lol, NottNott! That is so brilliant.

Situationally, I guess AOE is really good but if you know the Art Of WARS then nothing can stand against you...!

Last edited by DreymaR (01-May-2018 17:47:36)

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A variation on an old favorite (additions in bold):


Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If the layout of your keyboard only leads to RSI,
And the random soup of letters is offensive to the eye,
And composing 60 pages always makes you wanna cry,
Toss that rubbish out the closest window, see if it'll fly!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Last edited by azuvix (14-May-2018 13:09:34)
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FDbDKlm.png

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Since I do type on Colemak-CAW[eD]:

JustCawedToSay.jpg?raw=1

Last edited by DreymaR (22-Jun-2018 13:31:01)

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Bwahaha. :) There's another idea - there could be a raven logo for CAW one of these days...

To the GIMP!

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Okay, today's joke is a practical one. Try out what happens if you set a PKL Extend mapping to:

}^!{Down

^_^

Last edited by DreymaR (04-Jul-2018 10:26:27)

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5q9jhmwh7za11.png

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I think the second one fits better with the spirit of the meme

n9b244hltrb11.png

7goqw3tby5c11.png

Last edited by NottNott (30-Jul-2018 16:55:42)
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Not sure that bit about Dvorak Stacys is funny though? I'd replace it with something about stamina and speed.

[edit:] You already mentioned speed below, so just stamina then. "With ergonomics, can keep going forever." or "presses all the right buttons, for much longer".

Last edited by DreymaR (24-Jul-2018 17:05:00)

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ABYFN3j.png

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Seeya later Colemak users losers I type on a real layout now

5N77vlm.jpg

You'll see my Colemak membership card arrive back to you guys in a week

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Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

On the flipside, the layout you should be using now for oddness points is probably based on a perfect pangram such as:
Quartz glyph job vex’d cwm finks. (The act of carving symbols into quartz, irritated ruffians from a river valley – presumably a Welsh one.)

QWERTY: qwertyuiop[]
CmkCAW: qwfpb[jluy;/
QUARTZ: quartz/glyph

QWERTY: asdfghjkl;'\
CmkCAW: arstg]kneio'
QUARTZ: [job];vex'd\

QWERTY: _zxcvbnm,./
CmkCAW: zxcdvœ\mh,.
QUARTZ: _cwm,finks.

Or, shown alone:

The QUARTZ layout:
 q  u  a  r  t  z  /  g  l  y  p  h 
  [  j  o  b  ]  ;  v  e  x  '  d  \ 
_  c  w  m  ,  f  i  n  k  s  . 

Quartz/glyph [job];vex'd\ cwm,finks. Please, someone, make that happen. ;-)

One wonders what this quartz glyph job that vexed the valley finks is? Maybe they attempted to steal a valuable crystal only to find it engraved with the owner's name!  ( ಠ o ಠ) ¤=(————

[Update 2020-06-19:]

Okay... sooo... eventually, someone, made that happen. That someone being, of course, me. Sorry. (シ_ _)シ
QUARTZ_ISO_EPKL.png
    The QUARTZ layout, as available in EPKL for Windows. A Wide hand position is recommended (but the layout as such is not!).

Last edited by DreymaR (16-Sep-2021 14:11:48)

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DreymaR said:

On the flipside, the layout you should be using now for oddness points is probably based on a perfect pangram such as:
Quartz/glyph-job;vex’d,[cwm]finks.\ (The act of carving symbols into quartz, irritated ruffians from a Welsh river valley.)

For all the fun in the world it would be worth, the reason the keys are arranged how they are above is because of the profiling of the keys on each row otherwise my keyboard would resemble a mountain region. I doubt we have any perfect pangrams that match that limitation :o

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Ah, bummer. My IBM Model M clone could do it, but it doesn't have the fun backlighting to go with the experiment. I'm tempted though...

Crayzee Keyboarder Challenge #1: Mod your keyboard to a perfect pangram in a language of your choice. ^_^

Come to think of it, in the world of crayzee keyboarding a board resembling a mountain region might actually score extra oddness points...! :-Þ

Last edited by DreymaR (30-Jul-2018 21:58:51)

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